Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
