everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
