Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
