this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think your dad took our porno
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
