Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
