I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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