belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
