she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
