That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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