lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize