Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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