I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
