Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
