Dual....:-)
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
