dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
