hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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