Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
