Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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