Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
