im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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