I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
