i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
