Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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