So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That accounts for only three of the penises
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
