Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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