I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
