He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize