You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
