You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
