Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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