just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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