thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
