How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
