someone get that fucking seahorse.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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