When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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