last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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