She is in my trunk
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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