thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
