Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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