Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
