conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
