Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
