I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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