You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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