I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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