Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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