This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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