she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
