this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
