you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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