Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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