I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
