We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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