I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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