Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
