You're completely useless in the revolution.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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