Kiss
Puke
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize