I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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