yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
home. puking in laundry basket.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will be naked everywhere
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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